


What She Doesn't Know

by goregoregirls



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blood Kink, Infidelity Outside of Castiel/Dean Winchester, Knife Play, M/M, Smut, but i am very ashamed, i would say shameless smut, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:27:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24058216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goregoregirls/pseuds/goregoregirls
Summary: He could still leave. He could give Dean up, he should. He didn’t want to. The rush was worth the price.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 16





	What She Doesn't Know

**Author's Note:**

> I don't condone cheating and infidelity (since i have been cheated on), but my idiot brain just wouldn't leave me alone if I didn't write this and I am so sorry. I hope you guys like smut and some truly kinky, wrong shit. also, I feel like a fucking virgin for writing shitty smut. Also: please, don't do anything I wrote without your partner's consent and be careful if you do it, but do not drink blood (!!) it's dangerous.  
> Songs mentioned are Are u gonna tell her? by tove lo, What He Don't Know by Anarbor and Contemptress by Motionless in White.  
> kudos and comments are always appreciated!!

He entered the room, scanning it as he walked through it. He hoped he wasn’t here. He prayed. His brother spotted him from afar, a soft, sad expression on his face told him what he didn’t want to know. Gabriel made his way to him, as Castiel’s posture straightened and he got a serious expression on his face. His stomach churned.

“Hi, Cassie.”

“He’s here, isn’t he?”

“Yes. Sorry.”

“He works with you. I should’ve expected it. I’ll just go home, Gabe.”

His brother looked sadly at him and sighed, once again looking defeated. “I understand. Kali will be here soon, and so will Sam.”

“‘Bisexuality strikes again’, as you call it.”

“Stay for a while. Mingle.”

“I’ll get a drink. You want anything?”

“Anything fruity, bro.”

Castiel nodded and turned to leave, making his way through the crowd, when he spotted him and his date. Dean was here with _her._ He was smiling, his eyes shining as he held her hand and they talked. He looked happy. Happier. He hated that it was with _her_. Cassie had her curly hair down; the curls were shiny and moved along with her as she laughed. Her body wore a fitting, tight red dress, and high back heels. She looked stunning, and Castiel hated it. Jealousy boiled in his blood. He wanted to hide and cry. He turned his back to them, already reaching for his pack of cigarettes in his pocket. He was able to get on the streets quickly, lighting up a cigarette just as fast. His first drag made him dizzy. He grabbed his phone to text Charlie.

_Charlie, I want to go home._

_9:39 PM_

She answered fast.

_Already? What happened?_

_9:40 PM_

_He’s here. With her. she stole my name._

_9:40 PM_

_Shit. He’s here. Fuck fuck fuck he’s literally here_

_9:41 PM_

_Cas… you’re stress smoking, aren’t you?_

_9:41 PM_

_I might be._

_9:41_

_Ignore him. Dance with a good-looking guy._

_9:42 PM_

_Fuck he’s literally here._

_9:43_

_Right now? Next to you?? Shit fuck balls??? Should I call you?_

_9:43 PM_

_Fuck. He’s talking to you._

_9:45 PM_

After his last text to Charlie, Castiel took another drag of his cigarette, staring at the ground, pretending he hadn’t seen Dean, but he knew, of course he knew. He looked up, slowly lifting his head, leaving a neutral expression on his face. He finally looked into those deep green eyes again. There was a kind glint to it.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Hi, Cas.” Dean was smiling softly at him. “Are you leaving?”

“Uh… no, no, I’m not. Just came outside to smoke.”

“Gabriel told me you were leaving.”

“Once again, I wanted to smoke. If I had told him that, he wouldn’t have let me leave.”

Dean snorted, looking at the ground sheepishly. “Fair point.”

Silence took over. You could easily cut the tension between them.

“So… how’s everything going?”

“Fine. Things have been hard at the office.”

“They always have been, Cas.”

“Yes. They have. They were never not.”

“You always loved it, though.”

“I still do.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t expect any less coming from you. Any chance with… uh, Victoria, was it?”

“It’s complicated. We found a family that could accept her, and they took her in easily. She got along with everyone, but…” He should stop talking, he couldn’t talk about that now, or ever. It was quite illegal, but he had always trusted Dean. “…Her dad was still too close for comfort. We eventually were able to get a restraining order against him, but he obviously didn’t care. She committed suicide, last year.”

“I’m so sorry, Cas. I know how much she meant to you.”

“Social work is hard.” His voice wavered.

They somehow had gotten closer. Cas could now see the freckles that covered Dean’s cheeks. He smelled nice. His cheeks were tinted red from the cold night. Cas let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Now, they were waiting for one of them to move. Any movement. Dean got closer and wrapped his arms around him, as he felt the warmth surround him. He hadn’t known just how much he needed that. They stayed like that for what felt like hours. He pulled away slowly, as he looked into Dean’s eyes.

Dean was the first one to move. He kissed Castiel first, all tongue and teeth. He didn’t wait, but Cas didn’t want him to. When Dean’s lips touched his, he instantly opened his mouth, feeling Dean’s tongue weighting on his, his sweet taste of cinnamon; it was his favorite bubblegum. Castiel’s hands quickly found their way to Dean’s abdomen, running his fingers through his torso, then grabbing his sides, pressing his body against Dean’s, feeling his blood boiling in his body, his lips tingling against Dean’s, his insides burning up as his erection pulsed inside his boxers. Dean was just as desperate, lustful. He smelled of cinnamon, and a wooden smell, his beard prickling Castiel’s skin, his tongue still inside Castiel’s mouth, moving with his own. Castiel felt like he might explode, there was something inside of him waiting to burst out. He stopped the kiss.

Looking directly to Dean’s lips, as Dean looked into his eyes, he lowly asked, “Is there anywhere we can go?”

He knew it was wrong, he knew he shouldn’t be asking this, but as soon as the thought of _Dean started this_ came, his guilt went away. But he wouldn’t tell that to anyone.

Dean smirked, breathless, then laughed.

“Of course, baby. Meet me in ten, in front of my car. You know which one.”

Of course, Castiel knew which one. He looked at Dean one more time and smiled, turning his back to him and making his way to the car.

He found the black car. He leaned against it, breathing deeply. He could still leave. He could give Dean up, he _should_.

He didn’t want to.

The rush was worth it, so was the danger. Forbidden.

He was still aroused, his dick refused to go down, he kept thinking about Dean’s body pressed up against his.

He texted his brother a text saying ‘ _Leaving with someone. x’._

He looked up and found Dean approaching the car, looking side to side. When he got to the car, he opened the car door for Cas, closing when Cas sat down comfortably. He then got in and drove out of there quickly.

“What did you tell her?” _Are you gonna tell her?_

“I told her I was going home. An emergency with Charlie. I texted Charlie.”

After that, silence hung above them once again. It wasn’t a long ride. About fifteen minutes later, Dean parked in front of his house. He got out of the car, and once again, opened the car door for Cas. When they _finally_ made it to the front door, Dean let him in first and locked the door behind him.

“Go to my bedroom. Sit on the bed. Wait for me there.”

With that, Dean went to check the curtains on the living room, and Castiel knew he’d check the whole house. He made his way to the bedroom, carefully, looking down. When he entered, he didn’t dare to turn on the lights. He knew exactly where the bed was. He sat down and patiently waited. He heard footsteps approaching him.

Dean closed the bedroom door, and locked it, too. He turned on the lights. They were purple. Dean stopped in front of him, hungrily gazing at him. His eyes looked black.

Dean unbuttoned his shirt, slowly opening one button by one, looking directly at Castiel, while Cas stared at his fingers, gently moving. He looked just as desperate, as he felt his underwear get wetter by the minute. He would burst before Dean even got his hands on him.

They shouldn’t be doing this. They were sober, aware of their actions, of what was about to happen.

They looked so _damn good_. The purple light illuminated the room, giving a nice vibe to it. Dean _finally_ took off his shirt and kneeled on the bed, each knee on Castiel’s sides; he slowly pushed Cas down and kissed him, slowly this time. The cinnamon taste was still there, but now, it was mostly Dean’s taste. Only him. Castiel’s hands grabbed Dean’s ass and pushed him down to grind on his dick.

“Dean… please.”

“What she don’t know…” _‘won’t hurt her’_ was left unsaid.

Dean took off Castiel’s shirt, then unbuttoned his pants, quickly getting them out.

They’ve crossed all the lines.

They wouldn’t come back from this.

Cas found Dean’s mouth again and kissed him fiercely, as if his life depended on it. He was breathless once again, his heart beating like a drum, he was holding Dean, and he turned him, staying on top of him. Dean looked beautiful; his lips were red and swollen, his breathing ragged and his pupils were blown. It was the most beautiful thing Castiel had ever laid his eyes on. He opened Dean’s pants and took them off, throwing them on the ground and lowered his head through Dean’s body.

“Dean. Tell me to stop.”

“Please don’t. I _will_ murder you if you do.”

Castiel took his underwear off, throwing it somewhere on the room. Dean’s dick was right in front of him, fully erect and leaking. He wrapped his hand around it, hearing Dean’s gasp and small moan. He looked at Dean’s face, his eyes staring intently into Dean’s. He slowly licked Dean’s precum, then wrapping his lips around the head, his tongue pressing against it. It pulsated inside his mouth as he put it entirely on his mouth, almost gagging when the tip hit his throat. _Almost_. Dean brokenly moaned his name, softly. He started to move his head rhythmically, but still slow enough to enjoy it; the taste of precum was bittersweet, and _oh so Dean_ he was almost bursting his load just from tasting it. Usually, he’d be happy to suck him until he came, but now, he wanted something else. He stopped and got on top of him, kissing Dean again, stopping to make his way down his neck, licking and kissing it, feeling Dean’s beard on the side of his face.

He sat up on Dean’s lap.

“There’s lube on the bedside table. Grab it.”

“Condoms?”

Castiel thought about it, and he really should wear one.

“There’s no need to. I’ve been checked and there hasn’t been anyone since…” _You._

“Oh.”

Dean took the lube and opened it, spreading it in his fingers. Castiel breathed deeply, feeling Dean’s wet fingers on his entrance. Dean put one finger in, slowly thrusting it. Cas didn’t know how much time had passed; he couldn’t feel anything but Dean. On the second finger, it felt like an eternity. On the third, Cas was calmer, more open and breathing deeply. He _had_ to quit smoking. Dean moved his fingers slowly, patiently waiting for Castiel to tell him what he wanted to hear, as his dick throbbed with _want_. They couldn’t feel anything other than their bodies, the warmth radiating from them, as their hunger burned them inside.

Castiel looked at him, mouth ajar as he nodded. Dean quickly took the hint.

He grabbed more lube and spread it over himself, anxious.

Carefully, he took Castiel in his arms and laid him down on the bed, kissing him deeply. Dean had never felt so overwhelmed in his life; having Castiel once again in his arms, so open and loving, desperate for him was always a wonder. Love flooded his body as he got on top of Cas again.

Castiel looked at him, waiting. He lined himself up and slowly entered Castiel. Cas’s breathing faltered and he softly gasped, feeling the burn of the stretch.

Dean smiled at him, calming him down. When he finally settled inside of Castiel, Cas moaned and wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist.

“Move, Dean. Please.”

Castiel didn’t trust his voice entirely, as the overwhelming sense of _longing_ took over his emotions, his heart shattered in his chest. He had never loved anyone as much as he loved this man on top of him, looking at him so earnest, with such raw passion. Castiel had missed him so much. Dean’s face was inches away from his, his hot breath on his mouth, green eyes so close to his eyes. On Dean’s chest, lay a anti possession tattoo, and Castiel loved it. He was the one to draw it for Dean and his brother, Sam. He ran his fingers through it, feeling the ink.

Dean started to move, slowly, feeling the tightness around him was almost too much. He thrusted inside Castiel, feeling every inch of skin freely.

_The same old script, just different lies._

They both knew what they were doing, and they knew it was wrong, even it being with each other was this right. They couldn’t. Dean couldn’t.

“Dean, Jesus fucking Christ, I’m not going to break. Show me how much you’ve missed me.”

“I missed you so much. I missed your body, your hair, your mouth and that sinful lips and ass.” Dean said as he thrusted fast and deep, the sound of flesh echoing through his room.

“I missed” thrust “every inch” thrust “of you.”

Castiel was a broken mess of moans and pleasure, feeling the familiar burn on his stomach, as he stopped Dean from thrusting again. He motioned for Dean to get up.

“Lay down on the bed and _wait._ ”

Dean did what he was told, no questions asked.

Cas opened his closet, picking up a blindfold, rope and a small knife. Dean looked in anticipation, feeling his dick jump in excitement. Cas approached him, wrapping the blindfold around his eyes, then put the ropes around his wrists, bounding them together.

Dean felt Castiel running his fingers through his face, who then whispered in his ear, “You’re beautiful.”

Castiel sat on top of Dean, lining Dean into him again, sitting slowly on his dick, moaning as he bottomed out. Dean was breathing deeply under him, desperate to move his hips.

Castiel took the knife into his hands, moving up and down Dean’s dick, slowly. The knife touched Dean’s nipple and he shuddered with the coldness of the blade. Castiel ran the knife through Dean’s chest, careful not to hurt Dean as he rode him.

“You are _mine_ , Dean.”

“Yes, I’m yours, Cas.” His voice trembled with pleasure and fear. Castiel still felt so tight, so hot around him, he felt like he was about to explode. “You can hurt me, Cas. _Please_.”

He didn’t know what he was asking for, exactly, but he knew he wanted it so bad.

Castiel smiled, looking at the mess he was making of Dean, the sweat glistening his skin, his shaky fingers. He was as Cas’ mercy

He ran the knife through Dean’s neck, making its way to his lips.

“No one will ever touch you like this. No one will make you _shiver_ with lust, Dean. No one will be _me_.”

“Cas, I’m close. I’m so close, please.”

“What do you want, Dean?”

“I want to come inside you.”

Castiel laughed softly, taking off the blindfold. Dean slowly opened his eyes, looking directly at Cas, sighing dreamily at the sight. Castiel was on top of him, moving up and down, the knife still in his hands. Dean smiled.

“Do it, love. Cut me.”

Castiel moaned as Dean’s dick brushed against his prostate. He took the knife and dragged the sharp blade against Dean’s chest, watching the blood emerge. He bent down and licked it, tasting the red iron. Dean moaned sharply, the pain making him shiver.

“Cas, I can’t hold it anymore.”

Castiel kissed him hungrily, the taste of blood making both men moan.

“Come, Dean. Fill me.”

Dean thrusted up, moving with Castiel as Cas moaned loudly, shuddering and breathing ragged. The blood kept pouring, and it _burned_ , and it was perfect. Dean moaned Castiel’s name as he came, hot liquid filling Castiel up as he came, along with Dean. He felt come dripping, his hips faltering as he pulled Dean’s hair.

As they came down from their high, the blood poured into the bed, the red liquid mixed with Castiel’s cum on the white sheets. Dean pulled out of Cas, and he came down and laid down on the bed next to Dean. He turned his head to Dean and kissed him, tiredly, feeling sleepiness overcome him.

He got up and grabbed some tissues, along with antiseptic for Dean. He cleaned both up and laid down again.

“I love you.”

“I know. I love you, too.”

“I sense a ‘but’ in that sentence.”

“There always is, Cas. Let’s just sleep.”

He wrapped his arms around Dean, holding him tight and leaving small kisses on his neck. Sleep came easy as he heard Dean’s breathing returning to normal.

Castiel woke up wishing he hadn’t. Guilt and shame were creeping up in a cold sweat, the pain settling in his stomach. Flashes of last night came as easily as shame. God, he had no right to feel like this. He felt a warm breath on his neck, it was labored. He wasn’t the only one feeling shame.

He felt Dean getting up, and heard him going to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. Castiel got up, putting his clothes on quickly. He grabbed his phone on the way out of the bedroom, seeing three unseen texts, from Charlie and two from his brother. God, what was he thinking?

He decided to leave a note.

_I’m sorry, Dean. You’ll always know where to find me._

_I love you._

Castiel left the note hanging on the fridge, taking one long last look at the house. He closed the door and left, this time for good. He didn’t look back; he didn’t see Dean, looking at him leaving through the empty streets, through his window.


End file.
